Do you want to know what’s wrong with the world today? It’s not a secret really, it’s just bad parenting. The world has gone mad and no one seems to understand why.
Believe it or not, some parents don’t care enough or are too busy to pay enough attention to their children, because of this, they are unable to stop this kind of behavior before it starts! Most parents that have children that are this out of control, don’t even recognize (or are in denial) that their children are punks and bullies. In most cases, the parents put the blame on the adults, such as a video that was released recently on the internet, showing a 66-year-old female, substitute teacher, being man-handled by a 16-year-old who clearly outweighed her, at 6’3″ and 335 lbs., pushing her around and ultimately, pushing her with such force that she fell back onto the ground. Why did he do this? Because he was using his cell phone in class, which is prohibited, so she took his cell phone from him. Apparently this angered the little tike.
There was another case in the news recently, about a child (teenager) that was out of control and was being belligerent in the classroom. Despite the fact that this “child” was resisting instruction from law enforcement, the police officer was made out to be the bad guy. What? That’s what this world has come to; no one wants to accept responsibility and they are teaching their children the same way of life. Black, white, yellow, red… this isn’t a race issue World, this is a PARENTING issue!
Pretty soon we will have no decent teachers or law enforcement. Teachers are not allowed to touch the students and with law-enforcement being under such a severe amount of scrutiny as it is, will no longer want to get involved. What then? What happens to the rest of the children that actually WANT to get an education? What happens to the teachers that love teaching and making a difference? It’s not just teachers and law-enforcement, it’s everyone, everywhere.
I am so very thankful that I raised my boys to respect authority, ALL authority that is deserving of it. Their T-Ball coaches, teachers, their friend’s parents, law-enforcement, the person working the counter at the store down the road. Look, my kids aren’t perfect by any stretch of the imagination, nor am I Super-Mom, I’m just a woman who loves her children and wants them to make their mark on this world in a positive way. When I leave this world, I want to know that my grandchildren will receive the same love, discipline and instruction that my children did and that they too will make a positive difference. Adults mess up all the time, I’m no different but I am a big enough person to recognize when I do and admit it. When my boys mess up, this is what they hear, “Look, you made a bad choice. You’re a human being, we do that; it’s not the end of the world, but it needs to be the end of this mistake. This is what’s going to happen to redirect your behavior” (whether it was a spanking when they were little, or a restriction as they got older). In doing this, they learned that I loved them, I respected them as people by explaining what they did that was wrong and how to correct it. I also explained the consequences of their actions. By doing all of this, they understood WHY they were being disciplined and how not to have it happen again.
Respect isn’t being taught anymore I’ve noticed. Nowadays, children are taught that they are entitled to everything in the world. They get cell phones and tablets as soon as they can walk and talk because parents don’t want to entertain them. Don’t get me wrong, my boys all have cell phones and electronic devices but they did not get a cell phone until they went to Middle School and it was NOT a smartphone, it was a talk/text phone. They were set limits on what they could use on the phone as well and they knew it was a privilege, not a right, to have their phone.
I was criticized for spanking my kids when I spoke about it a while back. I didn’t care then, I don’t care now. What I did, was right for my family. I never hurt my children physically by leaving a mark. The discipline I chose redirected their behavior. My boys are the kindest, most responsible, respectful men, that you will ever meet. So… chew on that one for a second. I never had to spank any of my boys past the age 7 and obviously never did earlier than the age of understanding, which I believe was around 2 1/2 or 3. Outside of a few smart mouth instances (which were quickly and lovingly dealt with) I never had another issue with them after that. A majority of the time, all I had to do was give them “the look,” they knew what that meant, and they straightened up. If my children were at their friend’s house, they knew they were to respect the authority in that house as well.
Parents need to be parents and stop trying to be “buddies.” I’m going to stop short of saying “you shouldn’t be friends with your children,” because they DO need their parents to be their friends, but not in the traditional sense of the word, at least not while they are still children and adolescence. During that time, they need to know we support them and have their back but that only means in cases where they are right, not in cases where they are wrong. That’s the difference and where the lines get blurred with so many parents. They believe they are doing their children a service by defending them, when in actuality, they are doing them a disservice by not making them accept responsibility for their actions. We simply MUST be parents first. Guide our children, discipline them and teach them in the right way if we are ever to break the cycle.
Children need to understand their place in the world and recognize how important they are, not only now, but to the future world they will live in. In order to grow up and be able to guide others the right way, they must be taught the right way. They are not adults, they are incapable of making adult decisions or choices. This is why they have us, we are here to teach them, guide them and make the world a better place. This isn’t rocket science people, this is common sense stuff! Children need their peers to be their buddies and they need their parents and adult role models to set good limits and standards for them to live up to.
Discipline is a hard thing for a lot of parents to muster up the courage to dish-out. I know, because I’m a mother and it was and still is, gut wrenching to do something as simple as taking away a cell phone or television privileges. Now, imagine they are six years old and they broke mommy’s glasses? Yes.. it’s hard, but we must be strong, for them. They NEED to know we are in charge, we love them and we are going to protect them. If we let them do whatever they want to do, they feel out of control, like there is no structure. The only way to thrive properly or feel secure and safe, as a child, is to have someone you can count on, that will reel you in when you need it. Directing their bad behavior is our job as parents. YES, you read that right, it’s our J.O.B.! If you don’t want the job, don’t have children. It’s really quite simple actually. If you have no standards in which to base your parenting skills on, seek help. If your children are constantly getting in trouble at school or you are having problems with them at home to the point where you can’t control them, there are people that can help you, help them. Beating your children is not an option and if you don’t know the difference in spanking or abuse, you have a bigger problem.
I have 3 boys, two of the three are grown and the other one will be in a couple of years. We, their parents, taught them all to respect us, as well as authority of all kinds that are deserving of it. We never had to go on a talk show to get a Marine Sargent to help us. You might say, “Well, Charlie, maybe that’s because you came from a normal, two parent household where discipline and structure were everywhere.” To which I would have to bust a gut laughing! If you know anything about my childhood, you would understand how absurd that statement would be. No, I just know the difference between right and wrong and choose to teach my children a different way. I saw what doesn’t work in the world and continue to see it every day in schools and in the news. I know, as parents we must do right by our children, even when it’s hard. Wake up World, do the right thing, make the children accept responsibility for their actions and teach them there is another way before it’s too late.
We all have to live in this world together until we aren’t here anymore. Don’t you want to make a difference in your children’s lives and the lives of others? Don’t you want your children to grow up to make a difference in a positive way.. of course you do?! Then help them by disciplining and guiding them in a loving and Godly way. NEVER raise your hands or your voice to them in anger. That’s not discipline, that’s you releasing your anger onto them. Walk away until you can deal with it the right way. Love them and the only way to love them is to teach them right from wrong and how to accept responsibility for their actions when they mess up. It’s also imperative that they understand this, people mess up sometimes. The important thing is, recognizing the mistake, correcting the behavior and moving forward in a different direction.
“Doing the wrong thing is never the right thing.” Words With Wisdom by Charlie Cain-Tolbirt